Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
