I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There r osticjed everywhere
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You left your phone here
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