is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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