No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
