like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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