Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
