the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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