Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
okay pat passed out under dana's car
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
