You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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