he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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