Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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