she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
