her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize