Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
