He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
