i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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