I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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