You're so nebulous sometimes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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