Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
