I swear she didn't look like that last week.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He uses pillows to masturbate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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