Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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