I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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