the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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