just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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