Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
