If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
