Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
