I'm jealous of your bromance
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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