Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
