Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
