I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize