so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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