My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize