I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
God, I missed his penis.
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