So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
