He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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