the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
