I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize