how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize