I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
