franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
