he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
