I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
