another moral hangover. fuck.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
