That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
