The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize