Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
