He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
