I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
