Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize