your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
