we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
