I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize