It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
A bitchslap is in order.
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