4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel great
I just peed on a car
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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