My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As shirtless as possible
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
