erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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