im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
