Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
