I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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