oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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