This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
