Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
