Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
