i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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