note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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