Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize