her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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